In my early 20's I struggled with health issues. Declining health exacerbated my condition and progressed to the point where I underwent several surgeries which ultimately made it impossible for me to ever have children of my own. It was devastating at the time and I counseled with my (then) pastor to understand God's will for my life when I was in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. I wept for the children I would never have! Everyone who knew and loved me had the same words of encouragement, "The Lord has children in your future... just maybe not the children you expected." At the same time the Lord whispered in my ear, "I will restore what Satan has stolen from you."
Before Carlos and I were married we talked openly about our options and both agreed fostering and adoption were in our future. For years we have talked about it, but also knew we wanted God's timing as to when it would happen. We wanted to be stable in our marriage and have our home set up and all "our ducks in order" before we progressed. We held back and with each passing year we just felt like it wasn't time and we didn't have all the things we felt we needed in order to bring children into our home. But the Lord has always been in control and it is His perfect timing that has brought us to today. All of the obstacles and hurdles that we have had to overcome have only made us stronger and more passionate about fostering.
As my husband and I have prepared (as best we can) to be parents we have also grown in our faith and have had the amazing privilege of seeing firsthand the Lord's mercy and love unfold in our lives. Just over a year ago we moved into our current home, next door to my brother-in-law. With-in a few short months Lon was diagnosed with Cancer, and we knew the Lord placed us there so that we could be close to him. I believe with all my heart that Lon will be healed for the glory of God! That is my constant prayer with Lon's illness... that the Lord would make Himself known and heal Lon for His glory.
My brother Brad contracted H1N1 and went into respiratory failure around the same time Lon was diagnosed with Cancer. Brad was in a coma for quite some time, his organs were shutting down and his body was dying. The doctors tried to prepare our family for the worst. But we knew something they didn't. We had assurance from the Lord Most High that He was not finished with Brad and that He would heal him and return him to his family. I can not begin to tell you the number of times when God confirmed over and over to us that Brad would walk out of that hospital. It was a constant emotional roller coaster as every praise report seemed to be followed by some new set back. But when the Lord says He will do something He always keeps His word. Brad ultimately walked out of that hospital a living testament of God's healing grace.
Praise God!
The Lord is so good to us!! So many times He has intervened and made Himself known to us. During the course of my marriage He has made himself known over and over again. Even when that little whisper has come into my head saying I will never be a mother... the Lord has made it clear that He alone will choose the day and hour when I will hold a child in my arms. Each passing day He has revealed His desire to do a great work in our lives and draw these children close to Him... using us as a vessel.
I have a whisper in my ear that I believe comes from the Lord. In that voice I hear Him saying that He alone will fulfill our dreams of being parents. But that is just the beginning. What I truly hear Him saying is that what He has in store for us is beyond our wildest dreams. Being foster parents is just the beginning. And it brings me to tears of joy anticipating what He has planned for us.
It's been a long road for us and sometimes quite discouraging. But through it all the Lord has repeatedly confirmed and assured us that we are doing the right thing and are moving in the right direction. A direction that He has plotted out for us. We know the Lord has great things in store for us at church and feel He will use us powerfully in some sort of ministry or capacity. We anticipate great growth and prosperity this year. But most importantly... we feel the Lord is moving this year and will make Himself known! And I am excited to be in the midst of His moving!
